Sermon - 9th November 2008

Scripture - Luke 8: 16-18

Rev Andy Braunston

 
We all have secrets – good and bad.  That secret ingredient to a good recipe, the little secrets we have to keep a relationship going and the secret dreams of our hearts.  We have bad secrets too:

• those nagging doubts that if they really knew what we were like then they wouldn’t want to know us,
• that indiscretion that we don’t want others to find out about,
• the secret addiction that we are doing so well to hide,
• maybe some details about our past that we don’t want the current partner to probe too deeply into. 

We all have secrets sometimes they are easily found out, sometimes they are buried deeply.  Here in this clip from Desperate Housewives we see how one of its main characters deals with her little secret.
 
[DH Clip]
 
The problem with having secrets is that we always run the risk of being found out – and we’re not always so lucky, or resourceful, as Gabi!
We all have secrets – some harmless, some rather more serious.  We've all had secrets in the past, secrets which have consumed so much of our time, energy and happiness. 

The Secrets We Keep

Some of us have kept our sexuality secret.  Some here have had to keep it secret for fear of vicious persecution in Uganda or Iran.  Others have kept our sexuality secret for fear of what families or friends would say.  Some have kept it secret for fear of work colleagues – especially those who have worked for Christian churches.  Sometimes we've even kept it a secret from ourselves, compartmentalising our sexuality into one part of our brain and then shutting it off most of the time.  We've kept secret our deepest desires and urges to love and be loved.  We've been paralysed by the fear of discovery – for some with the knowledge that discovery would endanger our very lives. 

Some of us here have kept our true gender secret.  We've know who we really are but have been afraid to do anything about it; fear again of what others would say - family and friends in particular.  The fear of discovery has been paralysing and the risk of loosing so much was too great to bear.

Some of us have kept the secret of how miserable we've been in a relationship.  We may have given up a lot for the relationship and don't want to admit we've failed, we may have been afraid of moving on from the relationship due to financial or emotional vulnerability.  We've hated being where we are but are too afraid to reveal the secret and move on.

Some of us have kept addictions secret from those we love.  We may have been addicted to any number of things but have been afraid to own that secret – even to ourselves, let alone to those around us.

Keeping secrets like these has consequences.   There is a dreadful fear of discovery, of being exposed and vulnerable.  Living with fear makes us sick.  Then there is the energy that we devote into keeping the secret, the anxiety,  the living a lie, the constant worry that we've let something slip.    And then there is the pain of actual discovery, the sense of utter exposure, of being laid bare and not being in control of the process. 

Living in the Light

Keeping secrets is painful, drains us of energy and paralyses us.   Living in the light is better. 

In our short reading from St Luke's gospel we hear Jesus talk about living in the light.   He says that all that is hidden will be revealed.  He is referring to the last judgement at the end of time but also talks about letting our lights shine before others so that we become beacons of the Kingdom leading people towards the light and love of God.  We can't let our lights shine if we have secrets.  The secrets are like covers on the windows of a lighthouse – they obscure the light from shining, they hold the light and the energy in and stop us being all that we can be. 

Some of us think we can put off dealing with our secrets until the the last judgement that Jesus speaks of – but that might be too late!!  It also stops us living as we should do now.  St Irenaeus taught that the glory of God was seen in humanity fully alive.  We are not fully alive if we are held back by the secrets we keep – secrets about our inner most desires and motivations.
 
Living in the light means we don’t need to be afraid any more.  Those of us who are lesbian, bisexual, gay or transgendered know that Coming Out eventually brings freedom, releases energy to be used more productively and improves our mental health.  It isn't always easy; many people here have, I know, lost contact with friends, have been rejected by family – or live thousands of miles away from families in order to be safe, the cost of revealing those secrets can be high indeed.  But the pain and fear of living with those secrets is too high a price to pay.
 
Living in the light lets us deal with those unhealthy secrets being open about who we love, who we are, about that unhappy relationship, about that addiction.  The 12 step programmes tell us that we can't begin to deal with an addiction until we are open and honest about that addiction; we won't start to deal with our problem drinking, drug habit or problematic sexual behaviour until we start to be honest about those issues.  We will never deal with a bad relationship until we are honest about just how awful that relationship is – and start to work on whether it needs to change or end. 
 
Conclusion

We are called to live in the light, to live without unhealthy secrets.  This is a calling which makes demands of us.  We know from our own lives how costly it can be to live honestly and openly but we are called to nothing less by our Lord Jesus Christ.  And in living openly and honesty we realise that, in the words of the old Anglican prayer, unto God all hearts are open and no secrets are hidden.  In that openness we find our freedom and true identity as God's chosen, holy people.     

This sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester. Click here for further information.