Jacob and Esau were brothers. Esau was a hunter. He was used to going out and getting food. Jacob wasn't. Esau was the favourite son of his father. Jacob wasn't. Esau expected everything to come to him as the elder son according to family tradition. Jacob didn't. Jacob struggled with his place in the world.

Esau ended up selling his birthright to Jacob, at the time he didn’t care, but eventually he realised what had happened, and he wasn’t best pleased.

Family grudges get held for years, not talking to people because of things they did in the past

The reading we heard is from the day before they were due to meet for the first time in  20 years, he must have been dreading the meeting, not only was there a history of bad blood between them, but Esau was coming to see him with 400 troops at his side, it doesn’t bode well does it? It’s not like he striding across the land carrying a big birthday cake is it?

If the story of Jacob's early years tells us one thing, even if we go off the rails for a while, we're still part of God's plan. He encounters God along the way and physically struggles with the man he meets. Jacob’s clash in the reading is a prelude to this reunion, and it symbolises his own struggle with God. After all the fighting and the trouble, when Jacob was finally reunited with his brother Esau, he said "For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favourably."

The song which we just heard is heartfelt and full of intensity, it characterises the music the band were writing and recording at the time.

We look to the Psalms as being examples of the poetic songs to God, with heartfelt meaning and intensity, the lyrics of this song echo those sentiments, and can for those who will hear the message, have the same intensity, the same significance.

But what does it mean?

Songs have different meanings to different people; it may not be what the writer intended, but the connection gets made.

This song describes my life perfectly, every morning when I can’t find my keys, but somehow I don’t think the writer was thinking about that!

This song marked a very distinct change in U2’s writing, they were well known for including spiritual references, Tomorrow is a haunting song about the second coming, Gloria is song of praise to God, 40 is a sung version of Psalm 40. But suddenly they were writing songs like ‘In God’s Country’ and ‘Bullet the Blue Sky’ where Bono directly name-checks our reading as he sings how “Jacob wrestled the angel and the angel was overcome”

These are the songs of someone who has faith; you would be expected to assume they were the songs of someone who knew what they believed.

We too may think we know what we believe, but don’t always recognise that our viewpoints and beliefs may change over time.

Once, I had very set in stone ideas about evolution and the literal authenticity of scripture, it was comforting to hold onto them as they formed some of the landscape of the first footfalls in my journey of faith; but now, where does it sit, how does my faith look now? as I discover that though I was once certain, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

And I know I’m not the only one

Our faith is informed by the bible, by our church traditions and by our consciences, and elements of our faith may be subject to shift.

We may find that as our faith matures we may not be as content with the simplistic answers that we once were. For those of us who have had to battle with issues of faith and gender or faith and sexuality we've had to grow and change as our life experience fuses with our faith. We may, like Bono, feel that we haven't found what we're looking for but that, at the same time, we know what the tools are we used in our search - prayer, reflection, study of the Bible, meeting the Lord in the Sacraments. These tools for the journey help us to grow and develop as we wrestle with the Lord, aware that our wrestling marks us forever.

Jacob’s life and his viewpoints changed as a result of his encounters and his experiences, he was surprised to find that after years of bitterness, God could still find a place for him and enrich his life again.

Our song echoes that sentiment, he has certainty about the things which he knows must be true, He knows about Christ's sacrifice on the cross and believes it ("I believe in the Kingdom Come...You carried the cross And my shame You know I believe it"). He has had a life that has been touched by spiritual experiences, “I have spoke with the tongue of angels" refers to the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 that says “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”

The faith hasn't gone - the lyrics make it clear that Christian faith is still there but there is restlessness, a sense of change and of questioning.

Bono is describing the joys and pains of his relationship with Jesus; his lyrics keep coming back to love. "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" suggests that even if you have found the Lord, it doesn't mean you have all the answers; along with many other Christians, Bono is longing for a perfect relationship with Christ which will may not happen in this earthly lifetime, but which maybe he envies seeing it in other people.

This song has meant many things to me over the years; it used to be a barometer of my best friend’s mood, depending on how loud she played it! I used to listen to it and hear someone who was confused about what to believe. Now when I hear it, I hear the sound of someone singing a love song to God, maybe none of us have found what we are looking for, but accepting that God’s plan and creation is more diverse that we can really grasp is a goal in itself.

All of us will struggle with God from time to time in our search for that perfect relationship with him, recognising this is not a sign of weak faith, but is an acknowledgement that we are on a journey of faith. Together let us pray that we will each of us find what we are looking for.

Amen.