'If' is one of the most inspiring words in our language: it speaks of possibilities and potential. 'If only' on the other hand can rank as one of the saddest phrases that we can ever use. We all collect our "if only's" as we go through life. Some of them are rather trivial: 'If only I'd remembered to record Shameless last night'; 'If only I'd remembered to buy sugar when I was at the shop'. But some 'if only's' run deeper than that. They may be separated from us by months or years, but sometimes they're only as far away as the inside of our eyelids or the other side of the bathroom mirror.
In the Dr Who episode that inspired today's message we see Rose, the Doctor's friend, realising that she has a chance to deal with her 'if only'. She has grown up not knowing her father - ever since she was a child the stories her mother has told her have stuck in her mind, and upon meeting the Doctor, she finally gets to see what he was really like. She travels back in time to the day he died and saves him.
The man she meets and befriends is not quite the man she had formed an idyllic image of. He turns out to be as flawed as the rest of us - his marriage to Rose's mother Jackie is tempestuous and argumentative.
This being 'Doctor Who', of course, all hell breaks loose and the monsters turn up as a result of Rose saving his life.
But Rose's journey is not so different from the one that so many of us can travel - of course there are no blue time-travelling boxes for us, but her need - her human need - is what we identify with.
The Doctor may be alien and possess technology beyond our comprehension - but Rose is like us. She's not the only person who's grown up not knowing who their father was. The difference is that she's let it get the better of her, instead of focusing on the here and now.
The reading today echoes Rose's situation with advice on how we should be focusing our lives. We do not have time machines - so it reminds us that 'time is of the essence': we can choose to spend our lives wishing away or regretting what might have been, or we can choose to get on with our lives.
The scripture advises us to 'keep it simple'. Do you ever get to the end of the week and find that you're worn out by all that's gone on in the previous few days? But strangely some of the basic things seem to have gone un-done. You and your partner may have seen every edition of 'Big Brother' this week, but did you actually spend any quality time with each other?
We're reminded that in our relationships we should try and keep things simple. I don't think that means turning into some sort of modern Oliver Cromwell and renounce all fun, or that we have to make our homes into some sort of minimalist modern art exhibit. 'Simple' in this context means focused on what's important. That's what will help to keep a relationship strong.
But this isn't advice for only couples: ironically it's one of the very few passages I can think of that sells the idea of being single as being a virtue - it speaks of being single as being a blessing, because you can focus more of your time onto becoming an instrument of God. Now I think many single people would say that their lives are not exactly free of complication! We can all clutter our lives up with doing this, or doing that, and then find that we've managed to squeeze the spiritual side out because there simply isn't enough time left: not enough time left to pray because we're far too busy in the morning; not enough time left to read the bible because there's too much to do in the evening; not enough time left to spend some time with someone who's hurting because we're tied up tonight.
But no blue box is going to wheeze and groan into the corner of our bedroom and give us a chance to relive today. When it's gone - it's gone.
This reading seems remarkably prophetic about the modern day reminding us to try and keep things simple. And there are so many things we can make the effort to do.
In a busy life, we can start to change our focus by introducing those things that we know we should be doing, those things that God is calling us to do. Sometimes we may have to crowbar them in at first. We can start to build prayer into our life - the weekly prayer diaries are a start. We can make certain we have some contemplative time - our regular 'quiet and calm' service could be the way to do this. The important thing is that we need to spend time with God - however we choose to do it - so that God can nurture our spirit.
If we're constantly on the go - if our lives are crammed full with doing this and doing that - then we can be sure we'll do one thing: we'll get stressed. We increase our emotional and physical stress, but we keep going. We can deny ourselves the time to chill out, deny ourselves the time to grieve, deny ourselves the self-care we need. If this is how we live our lives, it's no surprise that sometimes our bodies will complain.
Keeping things simple is about self-care, it's about us - otherwise we won't
have the time or the energy to do the work that God has prepared us for. That
self-care reflects onto other people, because if we are too exhausted to help,
then a cry for help may go unanswered. Keeping things simple is about God
- because God wants us to be in a position to answer his call.
In a series inspired by Dr Who, it turns out that the messages from this reading are all about time:
Cecilia our
Regional Elder once told me something that's stuck in my mind ever since:"The
Lord wants living sacrifices, not burnt offerings".
(Dan Joseph)
This
sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester.
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