We laugh at Gabrielle but we also realise that she is deeply selfish - and knows it. She knows she has done wrong by having an affaire and not making her mind up between her loveless marriage or her marriage-less love. She is aware that the choices she has made have led, albeit indirectly, to the accident leaving Juanita in a coma in hospital. She knows that John has told Fr Crowley of their affaire and so her chat with the good priest is uncomfortable.
We laugh at her idea of putting off confession and repentance until she is much older - say 75 - we laugh in part because of her shallowness.
Yet Gabrielle's behaviour is not so different from ours and, oddly, has a long history within Christianity!
Never Put off until Tomorrow…….
In the earliest Church people understood that Jesus' call to repentance was immediate and urgent. The first disciples left everything to follow Jesus - as we heard in today's reading - and in an age where the Church was persecuted the cost of commitment was great indeed. As the faith spread in the Roman world it became more and more acceptable and respectable until the time of the Emperor Constantine. He, famously, converted having seen a Christian symbol in the sky before a great battle. However, Constantine wasn't really a convert in the strict sense of the word.
By the time of Constantine, beliefs had grown up around sin, repentance and baptism. Christians started to have a rather mechanical view of such things. They believed, rightly, that all our sins are forgiven when we repent and are baptised. They saw, baptism not just as a sign of repentance but also as THE thing which led to our forgiveness. They also were very doubtful about whether sins committed after baptism could be forgiven. This led some people to put of baptism until the end of their lives - especially if you were a high official or emperor whose job might mean one had to sin. Of course the church authorities realised this was wrong and tried, like Fr Crowley in our clip today, to persuade people to repent and seek baptism at the earliest opportunity - after all no one knows the day of their death. Constantine, however, was baptised on his death bed. Since baptism in those days always involved total immersion, I suspect that the experience hastened his death somewhat!
Eventually the Church began to deal with the problem of sins committed after baptism - and the Gospels were looked at again. Jesus' instructions to his apostles to forgive or retain sins were seen as showing a way forward and the practice of confession as Catholics know it now was started. But the idea remained that if you died without repenting of your sins then you would go to Hell.
Gabrielle would have known this; she was clearly raised as a Catholic Christian, though not a very good one! She knew that her actions were wrong and she knew the consequences of her actions, and she was willing to repent of them - but not yet! She presumably thought that she would be less tempted by sexuality when she got to 75!
Now is the Time
Jesus' words to "follow me" echo down through space and time and are direct calls to us now. Some Christians content themselves with the knowledge that they once answered Jesus' call and that is enough. I think, however, that this call to follow Jesus is one we have to respond to again and again if it is become a dominant feature in our lives. Gabrielle once answered Jesus' call. If she was brought up as a Catholic she would have been taught her faith, confirmed in it and she certainly knows all about the theory of confession. Yet this initial response to Jesus wasn't enough for her. She has grown tired and distracted by many other things in her life - not least her greed for pleasure and sensuality.
We have all responded in different ways to Jesus' call on our lives. We have made commitments at different levels to turn away from our old patterns of behaviour, to repent, and to follow Jesus. But we often get called back to the old ways. No one becomes a Christian and finds that their whole life is turned around in an instant! Anyone who has battled with addiction will tell you that the process of change is a long one. We may respond to the calling to change in an instant, but take the rest of our lives to truly change and leave behind patterns of behaviour which harm us and others.
Jesus call us time and time again to turn around and follow him.
Follow Me
For Gabrielle following Jesus at this time in her life would involve her, repenting of her selfishness and dishonesty. It may not mean giving up John - it may not mean staying with Carlos. It may mean giving up both - the marriage is not based on love but on money and good looks, the relationship with John is based, at least on her part, with a desire for fun with a young good looking man. These are not the things that long lasting relationships are built on. Following Jesus' call will also mean re-examining her values in life - these are around money, success, and feeling happy rather than being happy. Gabrielle is not going to find her life turned around in an instant. She will not suddenly find she is attracted to men who treat her well and want her for herself. She is not going to suddenly find herself attracted to a good man who isn't rich! She is not suddenly going to want to give up all her worldy goods and work with underprivileged kids! But her response to Jesus call, time and time again, will change her.
Jesus calls us to follow him. He calls us time and time again to leave behind the patterns of behaviour which are bad for us. Maybe we look for relationships with the wrong people. Maybe we are only attracted to people for what they look like without ever wanting to know who they really are. Maybe we are seduced by wealth. Maybe we are always confusing "feeling happy" with "being happy".
We will not change in an instant. But our continual response to Jesus' call to "follow me" will change us so that we become less desperate, less like Gabrielle and more like Jesus.
Amen.
This
sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester.
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