Introduction
Last week we started our sermon series based on the hit TV programme Desperate Housewives. We met the main characters and we saw what secrets they each had. Today we are going to look at Gabrielle in a bit more detail. Gabrielle married her husband for money but soon found out that money doesn't make her happy. Her gardener, however, makes her very happy…….
Secrets
It's sometimes been said that if someone came up to you in the street and whispered, 'They've found out! Run!', nine out of ten of us would. Gabrielle certainly would! We nearly all have secrets that we don't want exposed - even if they are quite trivial in the cold light of day - and that phrase tell us a lot, the cold light: we don't want to be under the kind of detached scrutiny that threatens and diminishes us, sitting under a bare light bulb being interrogated. So when it looks as though our secrets are about to be revealed, we easily panic and run.
Gabrielle has a secret - a very nice secret - but a secret nevertheless. She has to put increasing amounts of energy and time into keeping her secret and this gradually makes her life more and more complicated.
Most of us can relate to this idea and to the mess that Gabrielle has got herself into - not because we have had affairs with our gardeners but because we too have had to live with secrets:
" Knowing
we were gay or lesbian but not able to tell anyone
" Knowing that our relationship was doing us harm - emotional or physical
- but not being able to tell anyone.
" Knowing we were born in the wrong body but not able to acknowledge
this
" Having a relationship we couldn't own up to.
We know that secrets can be difficult. They take time and energy from us. We live with the fear of people finding out, and we cannot deal with the shame that that would involve.
More seriously, there are secrets too that are terrible for us and others to face because they have to do with pain we can't cope with, abuse, enforced silence, secrets that others make us keep. To feel that the truth is to be revealed before we have the resource to live with it is humiliating and frightening. Again we might properly shrink from this.
Come Out!
Many of us have "come out" in some way. We have "come out of the closet" and told others the truth about ourselves. That truth may be about who we love, or who we really are, it could be about what we really think - which can be very dangerous to tell others in some churches! Coming out was scary - we had to deal with all our fears about what people might really think of us, we had to deal with rejection and sometimes lots of hostility. When I came out - back in the late 1980s - in my case as a gay man - I read a little quote where someone said "it is better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not". This made a lot of sense to me.
When we come out we notice many things. The first thing we notice is a sense of relief. We are not looking over our shoulders any more wondering what people might think of us if they really knew us! We find we have more energy as we are no longer having to suppress the truth of who we are or having to maintain a life as a sort of double agent who has to live between two worlds. We find that we can negotiate our friendship and make new friendships with honesty and integrity. We can share ourselves without having to hide anymore.
All this is rather invigorating. Many of us are quite noisy as we start to come out and reveal and revel in the truth. Many of our friends get a bit tired of us - they are not being prejudiced - they just can't cope with all this energy and excitement we are releasing! As we start to calm down we realise we can put this energy to some better uses. We can live lives of honesty and integrity. We can speak about things as they really are because we are now living honestly.
People of the Shadow
But not everyone will be happy with our new found freedom. Eventually in our series Desperate Housewives, Carlos finds out about John. It happens whilst Carlos is in prison, but things get ugly. Often people don't like it when we start to live honest lives. They prefer the shadows and the darkness, but don't like the cold light of day.
When I attended Weight Watchers I saw women who had overcome so much hostility from their partners in order to loose weight. They were getting their lives together and part of this for them was about sorting out their weight - yet for a whole range of reasons their partners didn't want them to gain in self confidence. They preferred them living with the secret of hating being fat.
Many of us have been in relationships - with friends, family, or spouse - where we have been encouraged to continue to live unhealthy lives. Relationships where we are never enabled to speak the deep secrets of our lives. We know these are not healthy.
Our Scripture reading today from St Luke's Gospel reminds us that there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed and nothing in the dark now that will not one day be brought out into the light. Jesus is referring to the Last Judgement when all that is secret will be exposed to the light.
I wonder how Gabrielle would behave if she really believed this. What changes would she make to her life if she realised that one day - and rather sooner than she thought - Carlos and the neighbours would know all about John?
What changes would we make to our lives if we really believed that our deepest secrets would one day be exposed for all to see? What would we change if the Last Judgement were tomorrow?
If we would change these things tomorrow, what is stopping us change them today?
Prayer
Almighty God,
Unto whom all hearts are open,
all desires known,
and from whom no secrets are hidden;
Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts,
By the inspiration of your Holy Spirit,
That we may perfectly love you,
And worthily magnify your holy name;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord,
Amen.
This
sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester.
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