'When I was a child' St. Paul writes, 'I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put
childish ways behind me'
So then, now that we're Christians we are no-longer to be like children. No longer should we live fun, energetic lives. Life's serious now. No more playing games, going on picnics, reading stories, or playing with dolls and action men. Scalextric's definitely out - far too frivolous. Running, skipping and dancing are to be strictly forbidden. They have no place in a serious adult Christian life. After all, there's a serious work to be done - the spreading of the gospel. That's not a laughing matter now is it! Grow up everyone, get serious. Stop your giggling: I want to see your most earnest look!
Of course, I'm messing around here - having fun! Being a bit silly - just kidding! But some Christians go around looking deadly serious all the time. They don't do anything remotely fun or frivolous. Indeed, some Christians look on fun and frivolous activities as being carnal and worldly. Maturity in the eyes of some Christians means an end to play and spontaneity. Some Churches and Christian groups, past and present, have banned such activities as going to the cinema, watching plays, going down the pub, and dancing as being carnal and 'of the world' rather than 'of God'. Such remote Christians present the Christian life as being no fun at all. Not a great advertisement to the world of how to live a great and fulfilling life!
But is this really what St. Paul meant by talking about 'putting childish ways behind us' in Corinthians.
Absolutely not.
I'd like to explore a little today the difference between living a child-like life and a childish Christian life. I believe the Bible teaches that as we grow in maturity in Christ, in a very real sense we also re-discover something of a childlike joy as God's own adopted kids. We are called to maturity in Christ, but God stills calls us His children, even when we grow up.
First let's look at what it means to be a childish Christian.
There are several hallmarks of immature Christian behaviour. I mention 3:
1. Attention Seeking
We all know kids who seek attention. Babies do it best. They scream and shout if you don't attend immediately to their need. Toddlers aren't much better either. And as for teenagers, come on! They don't care about anyone but themselves do they- the youth of today! You notice how tolerant teaching makes you!
Kids naturally want to be centre of attention. Their world revolves around them. This is natural, but as young people develop into adults and learn responsibility for the world around them, they are called to see the world as a much bigger place, and that other people come first.
Sadly, however, many adults fail to grow up in this regard and seek attention well into their adult lives. I'm sure we've all been guilty of this in some way, though some are inevitably more guilty than others. Immature, attention-seeking Christians find ministries in the Church. The first attention-seeking ministry is called 'The Ministry of Me'!
This ministry involves people only taking on activities that put them in the spotlight. Although they might well say they're doing it for the Lord, actually, they are doing it for self-glory and gratification. They're great when there's a glamorous ministry on offer such as leading the music, giving their testimony, preaching, prophesying over people, speaking in tongues and anything else that gets peoples' attention. However, those same people aren't very good at doing the jobs that don't get them noticed: doing the washing up, cleaning the Church, putting the bins out, volunteering to set up and clear up. Now of course, I'm not knocking any of these up-front ministries- I'm involved in up-front ministry myself. However, we should always watch our motives.
At a previous Church of mine, we had two Music groups: one led by myself and another led by Bill (that's not his real name by the way). When we rehearsed we always tidied up the equipment and put the music away in the correct place. When Bill's group played the music was often left out and the equipment not put away properly. There was a definite sense of his group trying to out-do ours: recruiting people from our group and even gossiping about us. They always had to play their music faster and louder than ours as God obviously likes fast and loud music better! It's not for me to judge Bill's motives, but he certainly didn't appear to be acting graciously to us!
As well as the 'Ministry of Me' there's another attention-seeking Christian ministry. This one's called 'The Ministry of Emotional Blackmail'
Time and time again I've seen supposed mature Christians get annoyed and 'take their bat home' when they didn't get their own way on a particular issue. At the Church I've just mentioned, when it was suggested we take out the pews and buy a new electronic organ, a segment of the Church rebelled. They wanted their own way with the seating plan of the building and forged a petition for people to sign at the back of Church! They couldn't settle in their minds that the leadership might have different ideas to them (and even that they might have better ideas than them). They wanted their own way, and when they realised they couldn't get it, they tried blackmail tactics. Some even left the Church. It's amazing that this immature outlook was coming from the most senior members of the Church, people who really should have grown up a bit more.
One female member of this same Church felt strongly that the Lord was leading her to begin a relationship with the vicar! I was lodging with the vicar at the time and on more than one occasion this lady sat on the vicarage doorstep refusing to move until the vicar spoke to her and affirmed her. She became insanely jealous when the vicar Peter (again not his real name) went socialising with other people, as the Lord had clearly show this lady that they were meant to be together, just the two of them, for all eternity! This story is semi-amusing but desperately sad at the same time. Manipulation of other people in the name of God is never a mature way of behaving.
Before I put down anyone else I've got to look at myself. I've been guilty of trying to get my own way in Churches over the Music before now. What I've realised in MCC Manchester is that we sing a variety of Music in worship, some of which may not be my first choice of material. But I've not got to stamp my feet and walk out just because Andy thinks it's a good idea to sing 'Shine Jesus Shine' again! Compromise and mutual submission is a key to success and maturity in Church-life.
Before I move on, I've mentioned people leaving Churches because they didn't get their own way over something. Something I've learned over the past 5 years is that you should only ever leave a Church if God is sending you somewhere else, not because you have a grievance. I believe it is important to leave a Church in good grace and not because they don't do things exactly to your liking.
2. Moodiness
Have you noticed how teenagers are especially moody! I'm definitely not! I rise in the morning bright and fresh, ready to take on the world. I don't ever get stroppy if things don't go my way. Ask Steve if you don't believe me! The truth is, actually, I need about 2 hours to get my head together in a morning before communicating with anyone, even my tropical fish.
Sometimes we might feel like kicking off, having a bit of a strop, especially if we're not getting our own way. But as we mature, hopefully, we manage these feelings better.
I'm naturally a sensitive person. In fact I would describe myself as an HSP, a Highly Sensitive Person. HSPs are notorious for their moodiness- it kind of comes with the temperament! However, I've hopefully become better at managing my moodiness and negative emotions generally. This comes with maturity, and is an on-going process.
3. Affirmation/Reward seeking
This immature characteristic is similar to attention seeking. Some people will only do a task if they are congratulated for it, or if there's some reward for doing something. What's in it for me, they ask?
There are two types of people in the Church. Those who just get on with things and those who constantly need to be told how good they are at doing something before they get involved. The former type of Christian asks what needs to be done. The latter type of Christian waits around for someone to spot their greatness before doing something. The former are self-starters, the latter need kick-starting with affirmation, rewards or incentives to get off their posteriors.
It's great to be praised for what we do. But if we only 'do' when people praise us, we might never get anything done! God affirms us in who we are, the glorious people He has created us to be. So we don't need to be patted on the back every two minutes to get ourselves motivated to get involved.
Along with this, some Christians not only need to be praised and affirmed on a continual basis, they also take offence too easily. They say things like 'I didn't like the way so-and-so looked at me this week' or 'the vicar doesn't really like me I can see it in his eyes!' People like this, who are basically insecure, can misunderstand people's motives and then storm out of the Church saying 'there's no love in this Church!' There have been people like this at MCC in the time I have been here. People who have left in bad grace because they wrongly felt that people didn't like them, or because they once took offence at something someone said, or because they weren't praised continually for their efforts. This is immature relating, and something which we need to look out for in our own lives.
We are all on a journey towards maturity. Let's be honest with ourselves where we need to mature in attitudes of mind and heart, and where we are on that journey. Few have fully arrived. But fully arrive we will, if we persevere. As James says:
'Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'
Now, as much as we are called to be mature, we are also encouraged by God to become children. There's an apparent contradiction here. What does it mean then to be a child-like Christian rather than a childish one?
Well let's think of some of the positive life-affirming characteristics of children. Characteristics I am convinced we are called to emulate as God's children.
I suggest 6:
1. Joy and Wonder
Children have a natural sense of joy and wonder. A baby looks around at the world for the first time and sees smiling faces and amazing objects that he/she can play with. Everything is wonderful and new. Children, especially young children, find the world and everything in it fascinating. Left to their own devices, they explore the world around them. They get excited about life. Whether it's a trip to the seaside, a walk in the park with mum and dad, a trip to a theme park, or a new computer game, children love life and find wonder and joy in it.
Rather than being full of an innocent kind of joy and a sense of wonder, many adults are full of negativity and cynicism. Sadly, this is true of many adult Christians. Having been let down by life, we can all too easily stay in a position of negativity and despair. Even God seems distant and aloof. It is at times like this that we especially need to grasp again the joy and wonder of a child of God. To see the world around us with fresh and vibrant eyes, to look at the big picture of our lives, and to see the good in any situation, remembering that bad times never last.
2. Receptive and open
Children are naturally receptive and open. They are teachable- they have a natural desire to learn and to discover. They respond to gifts with gratitude, usually that is anyway! If you offer a teenager twenty quid they'll take it! They won't say: 'Oh granny, I really couldn't!' They are open to receive, to be taught, and to express gratitude.
Rather
than being receptive and open, many adults, indeed many adult Christians,
are not open and receptive. They shun new concepts that a preacher may try
to introduce to them, concepts that could change and empower their lives for
the better. They shun other peoples' gifts of time, energy and money when
they are in need, pretending instead to be entirely self-reliant. They even
turn down God's gifts. God offers His people tremendous opportunities which
some people shun. God offers gifts and blessings beyond measure, which can
get left out or discarded completely. What is God offering you today? What
gifts is He presenting you with? A wonderful new relationship? Financial security?
Opportunity to use your gifts in God's service? An opportunity to receive
counselling that will help and empower you? A new car? Your dream house? Often
when God presents us with wonderful and abundant provision and gifts we become
embarrassed. I'm not worthy of such things, we tell ourselves. Well there's
a huge difference between being greedy and self-serving and being willing
to receive whatever God wants in his grace to bless us with, so that we can
bless others in turn with the gifts He has given us. I believe that God longs
to really spoil us. Like a grandparent who buys you that expensive pressie
that your parents said you weren't allowed. Be like a child and open yourself
up to all the heavenly gifts that God longs to shower open you.
3. Emotionally Honest
Children can embarrass parents sometimes. They show exactly how they feel in a given situation. If they are upset, they cry. If they are angry, they express it. If they are excited, it shows on their faces. If they are frightened, they tell you. They express their feelings automatically and completely unselfconsciously.
When we get older it's sometimes like our emotions freeze up. We find it really difficult expressing ourselves. We find it difficult to cry and open up. This is especially true perhaps of men, especially those from Yorkshire like myself! Sadly, many men still consider expressing emotion as a sign of weakness. However, the appropriate expression of our emotions is essential to spiritual and emotional health and growth.
Ask
yourself, how well do you express yourself in Church? Do you sing and praise
God with all you have, or do you hold back feeling a little embarrassed and
uncomfortable? After all, those people who get a bit over-excited in Church
and raise their hands in worship are being a bit over-the-top and emotional
aren't they? Well actually, God wants us all to be a bit over the top and
emotional in worship! If you find that you want to raise your hands in Church
but you never have before, be true to how you feel and raise them. We are
called to love and serve God with all of ourselves, including our emotions
and our bodies. And we are called like children, to express our emotions and
communicate through them to others.
4. A simple trust
Children trust others. They have to trust as they are not yet independent people. They don't feel the need to analyse and question everything. When we become adults, we can find trust a lot more difficult. This is especially true if a trust has been broken in our lives and we have been hurt as a result.
A word of caution here! Not all people can be trusted or should be trusted. Not all Christians can or should be trusted. Not all preachers should be trusted, especially those who preach a gospel of fear over a gospel of grace.
But, God can always be trusted. God's promises in God's word are true today and in every generation. God never lets us down. This does not mean that life won't throw things at us, that we'll have dark moments, that God won't lead us in directions that we might not want to go. But God will always lead us to grow us and change us for the better if we simply trust God to do so. God is entirely trustworthy, whatever the circumstances and whatever our feelings.
5. An adventurous spirit
When I was a kid and I went out to play (or 'lekking out' as we used to say) with my brother and friends, my mum would say 'be careful won't you'. However, we'd inevitably ignore those words. We'd return with cuts, scrapes and bruises, but having had a great time.
We used to build ramps in our back yard for our Tommahawk bikes. Going over a ramp one or two bricks high was kids stuff. Going over a ramp three bricks high was more like it. Going over a ramp four bricks high was suicidal. Yet we'd always attempt the four-brick mega-ramp. My brother once tried it and the handlebars just couldn't take the pace, and snapped right off. Luckily my dad was quite good at welding. I once attempted the four-brick mega-ramp with disastrous consequences. I somersaulted 180 degrees and landed face-down on the concrete with the bike somersaulting on top of me a couple of seconds later. Naturally, being a butch Yorkshire lad I didn't cry at all. Actually, I did. I ran inside to mum and cried my eyes out and wallowed in my pain for about an hour! No-one had ever felt pain like I had! Spot the emotional honesty here! However, I gritted my teeth and went back out later on to claim the victory over the four-brick ramp. And claim the victory I did! I was King of Ramp City for days to come!
Children love to adventure, to explore, to go places they've never been before. However, when we become adults, so often that adventurous spirit gets repressed deep inside us. We prefer to play it safe rather than take risks. After all, if we take risks we might fall off our bikes and hurt ourselves. Yet life, true life, is all about taking risks. Not thoughtless stupid risks, but calculated risks. Often, when we're on the threshold of a breakthrough in our lives, when God wants to take us to the next level of life with Him, God shows us a risk we must take to get to that higher place. God will keep challenging our comfort-zones all our lives if we let Him. But greater blessing for ourselves and others in our world will always result from taking godly risks in our lives.
Ask yourself, do I want to live a small, safe life? Well you can. Just don't risk anything. But if however you want to fulfil God's will for your life, to lead a great life, and live a life of maximum blessing and influence, you'll have to take risks. There's just no getting away from it! Every great person has reached greatness in whatever area of life through taking risks, having an invincible determination, and often through enduring periods of pain and discomfort. Time and again, God will challenge us to trust Him in a situation even though it's difficult for us, in order to take us a step further toward fulfilling our destiny. The fearful thing is, you'll likely miss your destiny in life and fail to fulfil your calling on this planet without risk-taking. The great thing is, if you take risks and go on a glorious adventure with God, you'll find your destiny, and have a whole lot of fun in the process. For me, the idea of losing out on all the things God has for me by being over-cautious and not very daring is one I just can't live with. Let's therefore go on an adventure with God. Let's explore new territory, go off the map, live dangerously. It's guaranteed we'll get some cuts and bruises in the process, but we'll have more fun than we could possibly imagine. Don't let that parental voice saying 'be careful' stop you reaching out and doing all the things that are in your heart. Take risks and start living- TODAY!
6. Freedom to be my true self
The final child-like characteristic is the freedom to be your true self. Thank God that we have a Church where people are free to be their true selves without prejudice. Like a child, seek to show your essential self. To show who you really are underneath. Be true to yourself, even is this means being misunderstood by others. Let's not get into the habit of having a social self for different situations which is different to our true essential selves. Seek out work and ministry which allows you to be you, to shine out for Christ just by being your wonderful, glorious self! Perhaps your true self has been hidden for years. Perhaps within a serious exterior there's a comedian waiting to be let loose, within a sad exterior, a dancer waiting to be let out, within a sensible middle-class person, a mischievous risk-taking adventurer is just waiting to be called upon. Have you noticed how children don't have the inhibitions that adults have. They don't hold back defensively in their dealings with other people. They can go up to complete strangers and hold a conversation without embarrassment. They aren't bothered by some of the same social filters that we are. Well perhaps you've always wanted to dye your hair purple but never had the guts to. Go on, do it, if this is being true to who you are! Even if you are in your 80s! Whoever you are in the depths of your being, let us see him or her! If God's house is not the place where we can be really true to ourselves, then where is that place? Be free to be you and allow me to be true to me also!
Rather than being frivolous, being childlike is of crucial importance in the Christian life. In the reading Jenny-Anne brought us today, Paul says that the whole creation itself is waiting for the children of God to be revealed. The future of our planet and it's people depends entirely on God's people: God's children being mature yes, but also free, positive, joyful, honest, having emotional integrity, and being their true selves. The world doesn't tolerate phoney Christians anymore. They want to see real Christians. And above all, the world longs to see true child-like joy and peace demonstrated in the people of God. If the world sees Christians full of childlike joy and faith released into its midst, it will immediately sit up and listen, I'm convinced!
Before we leave this subject, let me ask you a question: When was the last time you behaved a bit silly?
When did you last laugh till your sides hurt, or go paddling in the sea, or pick daisies, or ride a bike up a ramp, or rolled down a hill, or played knock and run, or put a drawing pin on someone's chair, or screamed on the waltzer at the fair, or ate candy-floss, or spiked your hair, or played double dare, or had a sleep over. When was the last time you went on an adventure?
I believe that we have a heavenly mandate from God to have fun and enjoy our lives. Living without enjoyment and fun, is to deny God to work through our humanity to reach the world. Next time you confess your sins, you might need to confess:
'I'm really sorry Lord, but today I had no fun. I was miserable and aloof and for this I truly repent. Lord give me the grace to have a laugh today, and not to take myself too seriously. Give me grace to be a grown up kid for you. This I ask through Jesus Christ our Lord.'
Seriously Church, let's remember today to put childish ways behind us, to grow up, and in St. Paul's words, experience the 'glorious freedom of the children of God'
Amen!
(Neil Whitaker)
This sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester. Click here for further information.