Introduction

Love is one of those words that we all are sure we know what it means. Our culture is certainly sure it knows what the word means. TV, media, songs, films are all full of ideas, images and views about love.

"I love him."
"I love chocolate."
"I love my mum."
"I am in love with her."
"I love to go shopping."
"We just fell out of love with each other."

We think of love as being a feeling, an emotion, and, like all emotions, it is mysterious and beyond our control. Now there is some truth in this, but Christianity offers quite a bit more than this, rather shallow, view of love. We heard something of this in our reading today. There is a tension between how our culture views love and how Scripture sees it.

Love - one word many meanings

When we speak of love in English we are confused as many different things are meant by the same word. I love Ian, I love my mother - but in quite a different way. I love my dog - again in a different way (though my partner might wonder!), I love 1980s rock music, I love my friends, I love my job. I love you. But each of these times I use the word I mean something different. Sometimes when we use the word love we mean something about erotic interest, sometimes we mean something about romance, sometimes we mean we like someone or something, sometimes we mean we find fulfilment in it. It's confusing. The Greek of the New Testament uses various words for our one word love. When Paul was writing today's passage from his letter to the Church in Corinth he wasn't writing about family love, or the erotic romantic love between lovers, he was using a Greek word "agape" meaning "selfless love" or "disinterested love".

Agape

This type of love means actions, feelings, thoughts done for the sake of the other, not because of any sense of eroticism, romance or hope of reward. That's why it's "disinterested". Sometimes the old English word "charity" conveys this meaning in a better way. It's the type of love we should see in the Church and in the life of every Christian. It's the type of love our culture desperately needs.

Imagine if the contestants of Big Brother chose to show love to each other - if, instead of engineering conflict, they worked together to show love and respect; instead of getting on each other's nerves, they gave each other space and privacy; instead of seeking to talk all the time, they sought to listen. Imagine if they tried to cheer each other up and support each other when in the constant glare of the cameras; imagine if they chose not to nominate anyone for eviction. What would that be like? Well it might be boring television but wouldn't it be counter-cultural?

Love and the Church

Many of us have grown up in, or been members of, other churches. The Church is the one place where you would expect to see this type of selfless love in action. We know from our own lives and from the media that this is the last place where you would expect to find anything like that! Some of us have been asked to leave churches or made to feel unwelcome when they realised the truth about us. Some have been put off from every being involved because of how we would be treated. One of my favourite scenes in Desperate Housewives was where Susan and Edie were getting Susan's daughter ready for a church concert. Susan, a good person who wasn't really a church goer - was trying to encourage her daughter saying "don't worry if you make a mistake, it's church, they will be ok", Edie, a rather more cynical woman who enjoyed rather a liberated lifestyle - and who had been raised in church - replies "get it perfect, church is critical, uncaring an unloving, if you get it wrong they will gossip about you for weeks." We know that Edie is the one with the correct perception.

We only have to look at the debates on human sexuality to see how much the mutual loathing and recrimination affects the work and public perception of the Church of England. Selfless love does not come top of the public's perception of the Church.

Love and Our Church

Yet we are called to be different. Paul's words are directed to us as much as they were directed to the Church in Corinth. We are called to show this loving kindness to others. Of course the words are challenging and they make a counter cultural examination of conscience:

Am I patient?
Am I kind?
Do I envy others?
Do I boast?
Am I proud?
Am I rude?
Am I self-seeking?
Am I easily angered?
Do I keep a record of wrongs?
Do I delight in evil?
Do I rejoice in the truth?
Do I always protect others?
Do I always trust?
Do I always hope?
Do I always persevere?

We don't often examine our conscience, it is good to do so. However, when we do this we don't need to beat ourselves up, or feel unduly guilty. God is love and God forgives us our imperfections and faults if we ask. At the same time, however, we need to use this examination to help us mature.

A Goal for the Week

Look at the card, look at the list of questions.

Ask God for the grace to grow in love that you might be a sign of contradiction in our world, showing that love is not just a feeling, but an act of our will.

Amen.

(Rev Andy Braunston)