We have all done things wrong.
Hopefully we will never have to face the choice that Bree has to make - or anything like it, but from time to time in our lives we are all of us faced with difficult decisions and we have to live with the consequences of our actions. Bree makes her choice - knows that it does not seem to be the right thing to do - but decides to deal with the guilt later.
Guilt visits all of us in our lives - but guilt is far more than any normal houseguest. It's a family of them. And we get to meet the different members of that family as we go through life and make our own decisions. Guilt is insidious - it can eat away at us; when we suppress it - it just makes its presence felt by altering our behaviour, normally not for the better. Guilt can damage our self-image, our relationships and our lives.
Sometimes we feel guilty because of what society tells us we should feel ashamed of.
There are many things that we can feel guilty about that rely on external factors - this type of guilt can come from taboos we absorbed during our childhood, or from taboos acquired from our social environment, our colleagues, our friends, and our parents and family. When we move into adult life with our childhood taboo-system firmly in place we move further into adult life with our society's taboo-system in place, always aware that there are social penalties for violating social taboos.
When you stand back and look at what's causing the guilt it can appear to be quite trivial. Not worth getting yourself worked up about, people may say - but even if that is the case it really doesn't matter because the guilt feeling remains. Not only does the guilt remain, it frequently goes ever so deep and is startlingly destructive.
We can't just step back and go - 'oh well it's only trivial' - we can't ignore it.
There are some things that we should feel guilty about
Sometimes we really do get it wrong - the words come out and someone is offended - relationships can break down because of the things we say or do - or fail to say or do. The guilt we feel then is the most even-handed of fears. On the one hand, it can force us to change our lives for the better. When we have done something truly bad, guilt works on behalf of our better self. Not only do we deserve those pangs of conscience and the fear that accompanies them, but such fear can also awaken us to an ethical opportunity. Guilt can prompt us to take stock of our lives and question where we are going. It gives us an opportunity. To change our lives for the better - resolved to learn from, and not repeat, the mistakes of the past.
We have to be wary that our conscience does not become an unhealthy source of self-analysis - it can commandeer our entire existence. This sort of fear is as crippling as it is unnecessary. We can end up examining and cross-examining our every little deed so relentlessly that we can finally do no right.
Guilt is the Holy Spirit's way of restoring equilibrium.
One of the most interesting definitions of guilt that I found was as a "Fear of God" - these are the things we do and we are afraid of discovery - the things that make us worry about how God will treat us. We worry about being brought up on charges before the divine tribunal.
But this way of worrying, though it appears to be inspired by our faith, is not actually about recognising the influence of God in our lives. For me, the feeling of guilt is not something about fearing a distant God: for me, feelings of guilt are a reminder about how the Holy Spirit is at work within our lives and our beings. To do bad things and feel no guilt at all - those are the people who need to be concerned when God is separating the goats from the sheep. Guilt can, for a person of faith, be the way the Holy Spirit seeks to bring us back into equilibrium with God - to restore a healthy balance - encouraging us to leave behind the bad behaviour that has brought us these feelings and to change ourselves.
This explains why guilt thrives only in darkness. When tested in the light of day, the shadows that haunt us may disappear. Even when they don't - when we have done something bad for which we should be ashamed or punished - nine times out of ten the best way to neutralize guilt is to own up to it. The decision we saw Bree making earlier leaves her open to blackmail and continues to eat away at her family's stability.
In the long run the simple truth will prove less destructive than any web of lies we may spin to conceal it. I recognise that it sounds quite easy to sit back and say, to trust the truth is better than to cower from it. Sometimes the worry about the consequences of being honest can be overwhelming - and staying silent seems like the only practical option. But there is no need to be silent before God. Because God is the one who already knows what we have done - even before we muster the courage to confess it to him.
With Jesus we can give up these feelings of guilt and bring balance.
Whatever face it wears, one sure way to recognize guilt is that it always keeps company with shame and secrets. Secrecy, in turn, goes hand in hand with guilt by working to keep us away from the true forgiveness that Jesus promises us - where guilt is absolved.
Jesus promises us that through him we can be put right with God - to be given a new standing that allows us to be welcomed into the family of God. Jesus promises us so many things in the ever after - but to be able to be free from guilt is one of the most powerful and astonishing gifts that Jesus brings us in this life.
It's an astonishing promise that we heard in our reading "And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort." - we will all of us feel guilty from time to time - but we can show guilt the door - and use our energies to build things up rather than tearing ourselves down.
Amen.
(Dan Joseph)
This
sermon was first preached in the Metropolitan Community Church of Manchester.
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